"It was shattering, used to complain to my kids": Ashwin on series loss to NZ

Indian spin bowling all-rounder Ravichandran Ashwin opened up on the heartbreak of the team's series loss to New Zealand at home by 0-3 and how this whitewash and his own individual performances left him shattered and frustrated. Just before the gigantic challenge of the Border-Gavaskar Trophy against Australia away from home from November 22 onwards, India faced one of the darkest chapters of its rich cricket history as Kiwis whitewashed the hosts at their home, handing them their first-ever series loss at home in 12 years and their first-ever series whitewash in a Test series of three or more matches at home.

Speaking on his Youtube Channel, Ashwin, one of the chief architects of India's 18 series, 12-year-long unbeaten run at home, said that he does not know how to respond to such a big defeat, which proved to be "shattering" for the entire team.

"After the last video, I did not have the heart to post a video. We have been hit by a 3-0 loss by New Zealand. I read somewhere that it has never happened in India in history. I do not know how to respond or react to it. I know that in my career and in my experience in cricket, we do not have so many emotions when we play. But it is a very shattering experience. That is the right word for it. I did not know how to respond or react to it for the last two-three days. Sometimes, we face defeats. It is not that we do not lose. We have lost a lot in our cricket life," said Ashwin.

Ashwin went on to remark that no one is invincible and the first mistake a team makes is to think that they are invincible.

"Losing is okay. Nobody is invincible. Our first mistake is to think we are invincible. I do not think like that. After 20 days, when we reflect, we will have clarity. I expect closure. There should be a conclusion. Only if there is a conclusion, we can learn from it. There is no finish line. It is only a starting line for the next what you do," said the ace spinner.

Ashwin was extremely frustrated by his own performances throughout the series. Throughout the series, he scored just 51 runs in six innings, with the best score of 18, coming from the high of a century against Bangladesh. With the ball as well, he could take just nine wickets, averaging a poor 41.22 and having best figures of 3/63. It was for the first time in a long while he could not take a five-wicket haul in a series at home. Ashwin said that he used to keep himself asking questions and complained to his children as well. He also took a full responsibility for the series loss.

"I used to keep asking myself questions. I used to discuss a lot. If I wanted to complain, I used to complain to my kids. I put my best out there. It was not enough," said Ashwin.

"I am a guy who says I am the reason for everything that went wrong. I am also a big reason and a big part of it. I am very saddened by the fact that in this series, I am not a person who can single out anyone and show it in a team game," he added. The veteran remarked that very often, he started really well in the series, only to throw his chances away.

"I kept asking myself, 'Why did I start well again and again, and left it hanging?'. Where did we make a mistake? Did we lose our mind? You need to give a push. When you bat, you cannot keep taking the punches. Every time, when I push the momentum of the innings, Just lost my wicket at the wrong time, At the wrong juncture, I feel very bad about it," he added.

Ashwin also found it difficult to cope with the way fans reacted to the loss, pouring out vitriol on the internet and trolling the players. He said that it was difficult for him to see that because all the players were hurt by the loss, more than the people watching the matches. He also said that doubting the hurt of players is a "criminal offence".

"It was difficult for me to see how people reacted. How did they react? Everyone should apologize, apparently Sir, this is a sport. This is a sport. I just want to say one thing. Everyone was hurt. As Indian cricket fans, everyone was hurt. But let me promise you this. No one can be hurt as much as a player in the dressing room. No chance," said Ashwin.

"So, doubting the hurt is criminal. It's a criminal offence. You did not do it. It is not good enough. Always accept it. Because players make careers and their careers are broken by what they do on the field. So, I believe that character assassination shouldn't be done by anyone," he added.

Ashwin will be in action against Australia during the Border-Gavaskar Trophy starting from November 22 with the Perth Test. India need to win the five-match series 4-0 to qualify for the World Test Championship (WTC) 2023-25 final without depending on any other results.

The ace spinner has a decent record in Australia, taking 39 wickets in 10 matches at an average of 42.15, with the best bowling figures of 6/149 in a match and best figures of 4/55 in an inning. Also with the bat, he has scored 384 runs in 19 innings at an average of 24.00 with two half-centuries. (ANI)